Lots going on here in Sageville, so, let’s get started!
There’s been a lot of chatter in the trees in and around Portland about two cells of terrorist squirrels. One cell’s red and the other is brown. The chatter has gotten so intense, that I was appointed Head of Treeland Security for the Region. Holy crow, what a job! Sightings have been EVERYWHERE.
While at the Mt. Tabor dog park this week, I spied a member of the brown cell. I know it was plotting something nefarious, so I took up the chase. I came upon a gate going out the dog park which opens inward so ‘most’ dogs can’t just push their way out. With a flick of my paw, I was out the gate and hard on the heels of the terrorist. I cleared another fence without batting an eye and cornered the critter up a tree.
You say: Where was my faithful assistant, Mom? She was standing back there looking stunned at my fearless exploits. What’s up, Mom? You can’t open the gate? Do you need my help? Shake a leg!
Needless to say, the terrorist eluded me yet again. Never fear, though. It’s the brave exploits of myself and members of my team that will keep us safe.
A bi-ped form of evil came to our house the other evening and tried to steal the Sagemobile. Yes! You heard right. MY SAGEMOBILE. The only form of transportation I’m allowed in when I try my best to get muddy. Fortunately we have a vigilant neighbor who chased the evil one away, but not before the ignition switch was ripped out of the steering wheel. Mom said he was going to try to ‘hot-wire’ the car, whatever that means.
The bad news is it’s gonna cost Mom 525 green papers to get a new switch. The GOOD news is it’s going to take about 3 weeks to get fixed!! What? You say? This is what Mom told me: Volkswagens have very good security and ignition switches are specific to the VIN number on the car. It has to be manufactured in Germany and shipped to Portland. Way too technical for my little brain.
AND, because it’s for so long, Mom will have to take me to lots of somewheres where I’ll get dirty. I just know it.