Jury Duty

Mom was on jury duty the last couple of days leaving me with lots of time to think. What would it be like if I was on jury duty? OR, even worse, I was the defendant. My imagination began to run wild….

 Ball playing. Now, I do a mighty fine job of playing ball (at least I think so), but could someone accuse me of jumping too high and hogging the ball?

So, I thought and thought about my defense:

I, Sage, admit I am a ball-obsessed dog, but if another dog wants my ball–let ’em have it. There’s always more. Or! Believe it or not, I will find something else to do. And, yes, I jump high–I’ve been doing agility for the past 2 1/2 years and little ol’ me goes over 20″ jumps now. Oh, and I catch the ball almost every time. So, I think I’m

NOT GUILTY!

Hole digging: This is a tough one. I dig. And I love it. What if someone accused me of digging too many holes?

What in the world would my defense be this time? Is there a defense?

Aha! Got it!! 

Dogs dig!

Um, Mom said that wasn’t a defense. 

OK, how’s this: I no longer dig up Mom’s yard. I no longer dig under the fence and roll in very stinky stuff. I only dig at the river and ONLY at the shore line (the only place Mom lets me). And, the tide is always out when I do it and my hole is gone as soon as it comes in. A brilliant defense, don’t you think? And think of the satisfaction I get.

I think that gets me a

NOT GUILTY!

Rolling in ‘stuff’: I know, you’re thinking about all the really stinky stuff us dogs roll in. I think I’m probably guilty of this one–THE STINKIER THE BETTER–that’s what I say. And the jury would sentence me to the biggest bath EVER!

But what about just general rolling. Like on the floating dock at the river? With humans with their kayaks or canoes or are kissy-facing?

I have a pretty good defense here–it’s fairly clean and all those bumps feel sooooo good. AND, I don’t get any dirtier! AND, best of all, the humans love me! Yes, little ol’ me. Well, at least they love my rolling….

NOT GUILTY!!

And then Mom came home from her jury duty. She sat and sat and sat, but no one wanted her to be on their jury. I was sooooo glad, because all that stuff I was thinking about

came true!